


Deepest cut

by indecisivemess



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Asexual Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Depression, Depressive Episode, Domestic Fluff, Extended Metaphors, Flirting, Mentions of Blood, Mild Hurt/Comfort, More specifically greysexual, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sharing a Bed, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt, There's a lot of angst seriously, also swearing, okay so i lied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24197716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indecisivemess/pseuds/indecisivemess
Summary: "Why was he even here still? There had been a reason before, Roman was sure of it, but he couldn’t remember what it was now.Maybe protect Thomas? No, that couldn’t be it. He wasn’t his hero anymore. Only Deceit or Remus could fill that role now. And he was no second category actor that would just stand on the backstage, waiting for them to break a leg. He had no purpose, no role to fill in Thomas’s life. So he should just disappear. It was the only logical conclusion. Duck out, if you will. How had Virgil done it, he wondered"(Listen, everyone wanted Roman to go to Virgil after the new vid, so i just gave a angsty twist to it)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 26
Kudos: 191





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all, I know the tags are prolly much serious than whats happening on the fic, but there's a lot of implications and suicidal ideation is no joke. I know that because I suffer from it, so if you can't handle that, i beg you, pls don't read. That being said, i projected a lot onto Roman, and miss rona is not helping my already fragile mental state, so this is also sort of a vent. So anything that might be ooc is cuz of that.
> 
> If anyone is curious, the title of the fic is from this song from Get Scared, by the same name. I had this idea while listening to it, and man, i freaking love that band. There is no cutting on this fic, despite what the title might suggest.

He didn´t even register when the tears had started rolling down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe this. Deceit- Janus - whatever the heck was his real name - he had slithered his way into the Light sides with those shiny scales and poison filled words, and they had believed him. Patton had believed him! He was supposed to be the good one, their north, but if he kept accepting the Dark sides like this, one by one, the next one in line would be-

“No, do not dare think that, Roman”, he stopped himself, breathing in shakily as he wiped the tears away.

He had been trying so hard. So unbelievably hard. He had sacrificed so much of himself, his personality, over trying to follow Patton’s, incredibly unpredictable moral compass, and now! Morality smashed it all over the floor, the shards of the glass stabbing and sinking onto his skin. He had been careless enough to let a deceitful magnet near it, letting it unhinge the course of the fragile needle, and like the gullible person that he was, the father figure simply shrugged it off and disposed of all of his beliefs once the snake came into the picture, leaving Roman to bleed out.

The prince had never felt so alone.

The salty tear tracks clinging to his royal cheeks felt so cold against his heated face. He felt- he didn’t even know how to feel anymore. He had been angry, furious even, at everyone that had been present during today’s conundrum. Well, all maybe except Logan. He had wished to jump on all of them and literally slap some sense onto them, threaten them- do whatever it took just so they wouldn’t let Deceit in, and his hesitance had cost him, so greatly.

His head had felt heavy before, the rage fueling the burning flame on his chest, but as soon as he sank down, it was like the fire had been put down by the feelings leaking out of him. The smoke twirled around him and muddled his vision, his room progressively getting darker the more he let the hot ashes of his anger just sit there, right over his heart. He’d say they hurt to the touch, but he practically numb at this point, if he were to be completely honest.

Roman barely registered how his body had gone limp, how the subtle steam of his wrath was surely consuming him. Why should he even try to be good? It seemed like every time he slipped, the damage was bigger, and the dismay in everyone’s eyes got worst. And now that it was extremely obvious that Patton was willing to let all the Dark sides in under his wing, then maybe he should spare him the trouble and banish himself to the other side.

It shouldn’t be that hard, right? I mean, Deceit and Virgil had both transitioned to the Light fairly easily, so falling to the cold depts of the Mindscape shouldn’t be that big of a task. The poorly put out fire in his chest rekindled itself, the flame slowly growing, using his depressive energy to grow bigger than before. His body felt restless, stuck in place as he barely controlled himself. He’d destroy his own room if he even got near his sword, he was sure of it.

The fire now felt bleak, however, burning stronger, but calmer, at the same time. The light blinded his vision, and the shadows it created projected around the room, his biggest fears taking their form. Roman had simply let his dramatic personality take over the metaphors, but when he actually saw the shadows moving, slipping closer to him, his heart jumped out of his chest. His hand had instinctively reached down to his waist, grabbing the air as he looked for his sword, but then he remembered Remus had stolen it when he had hit him with his mace.

The panic rapidly grew in his chest, even if he kept the calm façade. “It’s just your imagination, Roman”, he tried to convince himself, to no avail, watching the shadows get darker and closer to him. His mind felt too full to process what was happening in front of his eyes, but he stood his ground, nonetheless. His legs had gotten stuck, and only once he glanced down at himself did he realize that his own outline on the floor was gripping at his ankles, black sludge swallowing him whole and stopping him from moving. Roman obviously struggled against its hold, his face contorting with the effort, and as the prince was distracted, all the other shadows jumped on him, successfully capturing his weak exterior.

Everything went dark. He could hear the echoes of Deceit’s voice, the disgusted tone of Patton’s disappointment, the broken trust of Thomas’s shattered dreams. He was no hero. Even Remus was more of a hero than himself and he was only a duke. He was a pathetic excuse of a knight.

His invisible armor weighted on his shoulders, suddenly so heavy, and he felt his knees hitting the floor, even if he couldn’t register the fall. There was a distant noise, a banging of some sort, but his thoughts were being so loud. He was a failure. There must have been some mistake when he and Remus split up, and the universe delivered the wrong side over to the good ones. He could almost imagine how his white suit would look like if he switched lanes. Black was a fashionable color too, maybe even more fitting for him than what he wore right now.

Somehow, the voices had him believe that his twin was much better than him. And Roman had to give them credit where credit was due. At least Remus did his job right. He had knocked him out, he had given the best introduction possible, and he knew, _he just knew_ , the fans loved him better than his pathetic waste of oxygen.

One of the shadows curiously got closer to him, in the middle of all the darkness, but Roman didn’t move, simply letting it rest over his heart with a feather light touch, and the last specks of hope remaining on his vision were gone, all of his emotions blinking out of existence with it. Why was he even here still? There had been a reason before, Roman was sure of it, but he couldn’t remember what it was now.

Maybe protect Thomas? No, that couldn’t be it. He wasn’t his hero anymore. Only Deceit or Remus could fill that role now. And he was no second category actor that would just stand on the backstage, waiting for them to break a leg. He had no purpose, no role to fill in Thomas’s life. So he should just disappear. It was the only logical conclusion. Duck out, if you will. How had Virgil done it, he wondered.

Virgil... that name echoed in his mind, long and distant, and the smallest of feelings stirred in his chest, through all the black. He hadn’t been in today’s discussion. And Thomas had been extremely upset. Not so much anxious, but their little racoon would usually be there; “just in case”, Roman could picture him saying.

Some of the shadows retreated at that, but not all of them. His armor still felt so heavy. But the prince couldn’t help but wonder how Virgil was doing. His own words came to him, the hurtful sting of his own laughter stabbing him in the heart. He had made fun of Anxiety’s name, just like he had done with Deceit. When they had been the most vulnerable. Virgil was so much stronger than him, and smarter too, by not punching him in the face on that moment. I mean, it wasn’t a difficult accomplishment, but it still hurt to think about.

But still, even through all the negativity, a bright spark of light shined in him. Something told him that he should go see Virgil. Even if he wasn’t worthy of being a Light side, they were still somewhat friends. No, he wasn’t enough of a good person to be friends with anyone. Acquaintances? Maybe. At least his chest didn’t ache as much if he put it like that, so it must have been closer to the truth.

A breath pushed out of his lungs as he propped himself back up, the clattering of his armor ringing in his ears. He just wanted to flop down on his bed and let the pillows consume him, but even if he wasn’t on his best condition, that annoying spark of hope wouldn’t go away until somebody crushed it, so might as well do it himself.

Roman didn’t remember much of his walk to the end of the hallway, where Virgil’s door was. He was sure he had dragged his feet till there, but his mind was pretty much blank about everything else. When he knocked on the door, not even his own ears picked on the sound. The shadows had followed him around, their goopey hands staining the fabric of his suit, like they wanted to seep onto his bones, and his arm felt completely useless, dropping back on his side and looking like it wasn’t going to get back up any time soon.

Some time passed, but Roman wouldn’t be able to tell you how long. Usually Virgil would either answer right away or not answer at all, but it wasn’t like the prince had anything better to do. Besides letting his mind eat itself up, that was. He was already on the process of getting back to that when the smallest of cracks appeared right in front of his eyes, and a figure peeked in through it.

Even if he hadn’t produced any noise, Roman knew he had scared the former dark side, probably because the other hadn’t predicted that someone would stick around for so long after not getting an answer. The royal had expected to be yelled at, at the very least, or to get the door thrown at his face, but instead, Virgil let his full figure come into view, despite letting his gaze travel downwards.

\- What do you want, Princey? – he mumbled, no trace of spite on his words.

\- How did you duck out?

Roman could only observe as the emotions quickly flashed through Virgil’s eyes, his posture tensing up. He wanted to believe that, in any other day, he would have cared about the other’s feelings to, at least, take note that he looked extremely tired and on edge as it was before he opened his filthy mouth, but Creativity was sure he would be just as rude if he could feel at all.

Somehow, Virgil managed to keep his composure, almost suspicious of the way Roman was acting, but you could still see how he had a firmer grip on the wood of his door, how his right hand had disappeared inside of his sleeve.

\- Look, if this is Remus again, just give up, dude. I’ve told you no before-

\- It’s... It’s not Remus.

The prince was certain his emotions had left for good after what happened earlier, but the sting of the irony rapidly brought tears to his eyes, so that fact had been definitely thrown out the window. Even the emo must have realized it, how his tone had faltered, how he looked so close to breaking down again.

\- I swear with- well, with what’s left of my honor- that there is no trick this time – Roman started, putting all of his best efforts into keeping his voice steady, even if his whole face tingled with emotion. – Just tell me how you did it, and I’ll get off your back.

The silence was almost as heavy as his worthless armor. Anxiety, instead of being useful, was just, staring at him, looking into his broken soul. Roman would let him get angry and/or panic later, as long as he got his information. But, like usual, he couldn’t tell what was going on in that, wonderous brain of his. Such a brave soul, what kind of thoughts would he have.

\- Deal – Virgil finally replied, his bottom lip quickly slipping between his teeth. – But you get in here before Patton sees you.

Even if he wanted to say no, the prince didn’t have much of a choice, only processing the rough tug at his sash once he was already inside the room, the door closed behind him. He remembered the last time he had been here, all too well. The prickle of anxiety steadily growing, flowing through his veins, had been exhilaratingly dangerous, and he had hoped to never feel it again, but since he was here now, that would be unavoidable, most likely.

The royal took the time to look around, the organized mess appearing untouched since his last visit, and his heart barely reacted to Virgil’s next touch, as he dragged him to the couch. The dark side must have wanted to hold his sleeve, and his fidgeting fingers must have slipped last minute as he reached in the dimly lit room, but curiously, Roman didn’t mind it. His hand was warm, so very different than what he had pictured during all those sleepless nights. He supposed the emo nightmare wasn’t so much of a vampire as he had imagined.

The couch felt... just like Thomas’s couch back in the real world, and Roman’s body instinctively leaned back into it, patient for once in his life, as he waited for Virgil to start talking; or maybe give him a step by step tour. He watched his every movement cautiously, focusing on every twitch of his lips, as he brought his left thumb into his mouth. He was so adorable when he was nervous, which was all the time, really.

\- I’m waiting – his mouth spoke, the tiredness deleting any traces of the already faulty filter he had, and Virgil barely payed him attention, just chewing on his finger more intensely.

To put it bluntly, Anxiety couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out why in the fuck Roman, of all sides, would come to him with a _literal_ death wish. And to ask it that directly too. Pat had passed by earlier, and well, Virgil hadn’t exactly seen him, but he sounded sad, at the very least. Had the two rays of sunshine fought or something?? Nothing made sense, and his brain was already overworking to the point where he got a headache, so he really should just, find a solution to this. The blank stare Roman was directing his way was creepier than most things Remus had showed him, and that was saying a lot. What if he just...

\- Well, you can wait forever, because I’m not helping you – Virgil moved his arms, crossing them over his chest. – I lied.

This was a very risky move, and considering that he was already getting anxious with all of this suicidal discussion, maybe also a timed one, but he tried to name the things around the room that caught his attention, focusing on Roman’s reactions instead of the prickling under his skin. His eyes twitched, and his posture changed, but the emotions were gone as fast as they had come, and now he just looked... empty, for lack of a better word.

\- Not the first time it has happened today – Princey chuckled dryly, curling his hands into fists over his lap. – Should have guessed it.

A certain sense of dread pooled on Virgil’s stomach, the lack of eyeshadow under Roman’s eyes freaking him out to extents he had never imagined. Not even himself had been this emotionless when-

Nope, not thinking about that. His skin remembered the event more than his brain did, and the cold of the void was already assaulting him, crawling down his arms and up his back, almost scratching at him until he bled.

\- Roman, what the fuck is happening? – Virgil managed to say, doing his best to ignore his own feelings.

Unless he was finally seeing things, that got the stupid prince to at least widen his eyes. As soon as his initial shock was over, something shined behind his long lashes, and for just a second, Anxiety truly felt like the dramatic actor would just burst out crying, but Roman simply stayed still, looking down at the floor.

\- I don’t want to talk about it – came the stubborn answer, and Virgil directed all of his energy into not slapping him across the face, knowing that demanding a better reply was not the right call here.

However, with that came the frustrating solution that he didn’t know what the right call here was. He thought that having anxiety would be useful for something, but it looks like even that was failing him now. The skin of his lip felt chapped and like it would start to peel at any second, but he couldn’t stop his teeth as he looked around his room, trying to think of something, _anything_ , that could save this mess. His eyes landed on the box where he kept his dvd’s.

\- Hey – he spoke quietly, his nervousness taking a different tone, a more embarrassed kind – I wanna make a deal.

A spark of curiosity shone in Roman’s otherwise lifeless eyes.

\- And what might that be?

\- Stay here for the night.

That was _not_ what he had meant to say, fuck. Roman was staring, he could definitely feel him staring.

\- I have... Disney movies. I stole most of Patton’s blu rays – his hands found the loose treads inside the pockets of his jacket – I bet you can’t handle watching all of them in one sitting.

There, that should do it. It was a distraction _and_ a challenge, all rolled into one. Plus, he could keep an eye on Roman for the time being, if the other took the bait. Anxiety could see him pondering it, resting back against the couch, and a soft sigh pushed past his lips.

\- Why not? It’s not like I have anything else better to do.

A bit of a lackluster reaction but it would do. Out of the top of his mind, Virgil picked the first few titles he could remember, summoning them onto his hands with a soft cloud of dark smoke, just to be that tad bit dramatic.

\- You pick the first one.

Roman frowned, and the emo’s heart almost burst out of his chest at watching him express some semblance of a reaction.

\- But you already picked from between the rest of-

\- Either choose from these, or no movies. And you know I have the best snacks around here.

It was not a lie. Perks of not wanting to socialize with anyone. 3 am trips to hoard the kitchen were the best thing. Hearing Logan screeching just a few hours later that his Crofters had gone missing was the second best thing, always managing to throw him into a fit of giggles. What he hadn’t expected was how it seemed like the color was slowly returning to Roman’s cheeks, how he could see the smallest hint of a smirk. Oh no.

\- Do you consider yourself one of those, Dark Knight? Because I’d rather have you.

That- he definitely hadn’t expected that. His heart definitely hadn’t expected it either, but that was beside the point.

\- Hmm, gross – he replied mockingly, nothing else coming to mind, and Virgil made sure that he aimed at his chest when he threw the plastic covers in his direction, watching him jump slightly at the impact.

Yea, he could work with this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone asks, greysexual is someone that is part of the ace spectrum and that, despite not feeling sexual attraction most of the time, on rare moments they might feel it, for no apparent reason.   
> I always liked the hc that Roman would be somewhere on the spectrum (totally not projecting), but i tried not to focus too much on it, specially cuz i only came up with this idea like, halway through the chapter, so i hope this is alright.
> 
> That being said, this is brainless fluff.

It was not like Anxiety had been counting through all the movies they had seen already, but if he had to guess, it must have been like, the fourth or the fifth one, when he heard the smallest of hums. Virgil actually had made sure to pick the films with the most annoying soundtracks to prompt the prince to single along like usual, and he had been slowly losing hope; until now.

As discreetly as he could, he turned his head slightly in Roman’s direction, peeking at him out of the corner of his eye, and the vision melted his cold heart just a little bit.

Roman was smiling.

It wasn’t the most dashing of smiles he had to offer, and he wasn’t reenacting the scenes on screen, or any of the common dramatic things he’d do, but a small sense of accomplishment spread through Virgil’s chest, his shoulders dropping as part of the stress melted away. Wow, Logan was right. Refocusing your attention towards something else did help a bit. Not that he gave two shits about the little mermaid crying on the tv, but catching side glances at Roman from time to time was doing the trick. He felt like a melted pile of boneless goo, drowning in his hoodie. He’d definitely need to pass by Logan’s room later and annoy him for a little bit as a thank you.

As the credits rolled on the screen, Virgil’s eyelids were already drooping, his chin slipping inside of his shirt from how heavy his head was getting, and Roman felt the electricity coursing through his veins, the need to speak, that he didn’t know he had back, almost overruling the part of him that yelled to let the adorable creature sleep. Now that they actually put some effort into this movie marathon, the prince was pumped to keep it going, you could say, but he didn’t mind settling for a nap if that’s what his Gerard Way preferred instead.

Caution was never really his strong suit, however, and as Creativity tried to slip out from his seat to go store the dvd back on its box, he caught Virgil quite literally jumping off the couch, his eyes shot wide open, like a feral cat in the night, as his posture went back to the normal tense look. The guilt hung heavy on his heart.

\- I didn’t mean to-

\- I-It’s fine, Princey, save it – the emo quickly replied, breathing in intensely to calm down his pounding heart.

And well, soft tones had never been his forte, he realized that the hard way. The mushy relaxed features that had been drawn beautifully into Roman’s face were whipped away as soon as he heard Virgil’s voice, the disgusting pitying light lodging into his eyes.

\- Right – he replied defeatedly, curling his hands into fists as he looked away. He should have stayed in his room, he knew it.

A heavy sigh cut through the metal string of negativity that was already tangling around his heart, the light cuts it left behind stinging like hell; the leather of the old couch crinkled and whined. When he turned his head to the noises, Virgil already stood in front of him, much closer than before. The romantic’s chest burned from the proximity, the heat making the cuts hurt worst and sparking the energy in its awake. 

His brain rapidly filled him in all the possibilities, visions of them softly embracing, or maybe even kissing, who knows, warming him from the inside out. He barely registered that his emo was quietly staring at him, assessing the situation, and he wondered if he was supposed to do something. His body worked on that before he could process what was happening, turning around to face the other fully, and his hands tingled with the need to touch, but he stayed put, not wanting to scare Virgil away.

What he didn’t expect was that this little shit would flick him on the forehead, taking advantage of the royal’s whine in betrayal to break through his lowered defenses, firmly pushing him away. The world spinned around him, ripping a majestic squeak out of him, but his nerves settled down once his back fell on the bed, the comfort of the pillows confusing him slightly. When he arched his neck up to stare at the terrible fiend that dared scare him like that, Virgil had the most attractive smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, setting his heart ablaze.

Not so much appropriate thoughts filled his mind as the other took a calculated step closer, and he quickly worked to push those away as he struggled to sit up. Love wasn’t supposed to be... naughty. It was supposed to be about warmth and roses, soft sparkles and light touches, not, not hot- steamy- shirtless Anxiety crawling over him-

Roman flopped back on the bed, screaming internally as he tried to wipe away that beautiful, tempting image.

From Virgil’s perspective, however, this was being extremely entertaining, watching that cute blush burn across Roman’s cheeks truly being a sight to behold. He’d take a picture in any other day just to use as blackmail, or to tease the living hell out of Princey, but he had somehow managed to bring part of him back, and he wasn’t going to risk it with such a stupid move.

Leaving the royal to be adorable by himself on his bed, Virgil turned his back to him to shrug off his jacket, taking the opportunity to smile to himself at that fact. He wasn’t totally sure why it made him so happy that Roman, of all people, was being such a dramatic gay on _his bed_ , but he didn’t have the energy to question it, just accepting his feelings for the time being.

When he turned back, having quickly snapped his fingers to change into some comfortable pajama pants, Roman was watching him with a batted breath, almost like he was dazed with the sight. Virgil’s anxieties crawled up his arms like spiders, his fingers instinctively grabbing at the ends of his sleeves to cover his palms. Why was he staring so much? Was he finally going to laugh at him? Make fun of him that he didn’t sleep with his patches close to his patched heart?

The scraping of his eyeshadow getting darker didn’t went unnoticed by Roman, who did in fact have a playful joke just on the tip of his tongue to shoot in his direction, but that light banter died in him mouth as fast as it came to him, and he couldn’t be more glad that he had caught himself right on time.

\- Those... are the most adorable customized pants I’ve seen – he struggled to say, not used to being honest about such things.

Virgil seemed surprised with his words.

\- Really? – the embodiment of doubt shot his way, and Roman couldn’t let this stand, anxiously watching as the skin under his eyes got darker still.

\- Of course! – he managed a sincere look, sitting up to face him. – Cartoon spiders are, an acceptable sleepwear... fashion choice for a supreme overlord such as yourself.

Okay, that had sounded so dumb, maybe even mocking. You could see he had been trying too hard to let that out, and it still had been the worst possible string of words to be produced by his awful voice. Virgil was never going to believe him.

To his amazement, a snort cut through his doubts, and when he raised his head to look at Anxiety, his own expressions opened out and stretched wide, faced with the cutest sight. Something about the dimmed lighting of the room brought a soft glow to Virgil’s pale skin, the happy wrinkles around his contently squinted eyes just barely there, but still visible. The only downside was the fact that the cute ball of nerves in front of him was hiding his smile behind his pulled up sleeve, but he’d let that slide, something about the gesture framing the rest of the set perfectly.

\- Now, could you just cut the flirting out so we can go take a nap?

\- Oh, uh-

Virgil was already stepping closer to the bed, setting Roman’s every nerve end on fire. He wasn’t even trying to be flirty right now, how-

\- Move your giant ass to the side, this is still my bed, and I _won’t_ hesitate to kick you out.

There was a trace of a smile in his tone, and the prince moved to the side without even processing that the other had somewhat complimented his butt, his head too full with the fact that they would be sharing a bed.

\- Why, are we taking a nap?? – the words left his mouth before he could think about them, but really, what was happening.

He had managed to keep a good distance between them without falling off the bed, but Virgil’s face still felt so close. Princey wanted nothing more than to trash around until his prince suit stopped strangling him, from how tangled up he was, and a small part of him wished that, if he actually did that, that he’d have an excuse to come closer to his- his nothing. The emo’s stand radiated confusion, from the silence or the question, Roman couldn’t tell.

\- I’m sleepy and you still look kinda depressed, so we are taking a nap – he mumbled before a yawn, like that answer was obvious. – You don’t wanna?

That... actually sounded nice. The part of his brain that would process how he had been figured out that fast by Virgil was in complete shut down mode, not offering him any reaction to act upon, so the dramatic one chose to actively ignore that bit, bringing up his hands to tangle around his crooked stash.

\- I mean, I guess – his voice had come out uninterested, or at least to him it sounded like that, but his storm cloud didn’t seem to have noticed it.

\- But??

Roman’s browns knitted in confusion

\- But?

\- Yea, that’s like, screaming in the silence – Virgil looked down, playing with the sheets of the bed. – Listen, I’m not gonna force you to-

The snort tore through Princey’s throat before he could stop himself, and that fact quickly brought a wave of terrible guilt crashing in, the corners of his vision going unfocused. Somehow, he didn’t register the emo scooting closer to him, hesitating to touch him before lightly dropping his hand on his shoulder. The pressure wasn’t unpleasant, surprisingly, and Roman found himself promptly easing into the gesture. Virgil had never seen the dark eyeshadow gathering around so fast. It freaked him out slightly that that was even possible.

\- You’re gonna need a lot more than that to offend me, dude – he offered a smile, an uncomfortable one, but his words sounded like the truth.

Roman settled on a quick nod to let him know he got it, feeling the feather light touch of the makeup leaving him as his body relaxed into the welcoming environment.

\- I just... – he took a moment, still trying to gather his words. – I don’t understand, how you can be so kind.

The astonishment was clear in the air between them. Roman’s words had that weight only present in these rare, unplanned, raw moments, and Virgil could tell his cheeks were burning, could tell that Roman could tell that his cheeks were burning. Ironically, the causer of the conundrum chuckled courtly, like he was the one embarrassed, and finally, finally gathered the courage to move closer, staring into Virgil’s surprised eyes as he cupped his warm cheek. His skin was so smooth to the touch.

\- I see that you believe in my words.

And fuck, that gentle tone was doing things to him! This wasn’t fair! Virgil was frozen in place, simply unmoving as Princey’s thumb carded his face like he was the most precious thing he had in this world, and his chest felt... pleasantly tight with the burden of that comparison.

\- Will you allow me... – Roman started, but then hesitated, his gaze lowering as he changed his reasoning. – Will you give me the honor of expressing my gratitude through uh... cuddles?

And now it was Virgil’s turn to laugh, his eyes closing for just a second as he leaned into Roman’s huge, welcoming hand. He didn’t know where all these, positive feelings were coming from, but his chest felt light, and his bed had never felt more comfortable, so cuddles didn’t sound so bad.

\- I guess I’ll allow that. I’m not letting you be the big spoon tho.

Any other day, Roman would have complained, maybe even thrown a fit, but more than never, he needed to be embraced, or just... protected by someone he trusted, and heck, had you even seen Virgil?? Stronger than his thunder storm, no one filled that category in his mind.

It took some adjusting, elbows stabbing at their least guarded areas, but once Roman had his back turned to the other, the breath he took in made all of his back muscles unwind, the snap clicking and echoing in the quiet room. He had gone simple for once, changing into a clean white t-shirt, and he hoped Virgil didn’t mind the transition, just staring intensely straight ahead as the mattress dipped.

He’d forever deny the squeak that came out of him at the unexpected feeling of the cold sheets being thrown over him, but something about the flowery smell of them rapidly put his nerves at ease, a sense of familiarity rolling over him.

\- Is this, lavender? – Roman asked, already looking in Virgil’s direction to catch his eyes, but the emo didn’t give him a chance to see them, quickly shoving his face into his shoulder, his arms hesitantly coming around his waist.

\- Shut up.

\- But-

\- Listen, Logan has ranted to me more than once about these, stupid floral studies or whatever. And you know how those are always long as fuck.

That wasn’t even nearly close to a good explanation, but Roman accepted it, nonetheless, staring straight ahead as he moved his hands to rest over Anxiety’s. He felt the other tense up against his back, before relaxing, so he kept the touch, letting the tiredness and the stress of the day melt away as his eyes closed. The royal had expected for the opposite effects to take place, predicting that his aching heart would go crazy once his love finally touched him with such a caring undertone, but even his hopeless emotions felt cradled in Virgil’s lanky arms.

He didn’t took long to fall asleep surrounded by such comfort, blessed with a sleepless rest. Or maybe he dreamt of princes and their dark knights- their brave, dark knights, that saved him from himself, using nothing more than eyeshadow and sass to light up his life with the happiness and joy he couldn’t create.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, anyone that does feel romantic and sexual attraction mind telling me if this made any sense? Cuz i have no idea ~cries in aroace~

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you got till the end of this, hi, hello. If you'd like, I might do a second part just to end this on a fluffy note, so let me know if anyone would like that. Comments are always apreciated, of any kind! Even those that might sound stupid or agressive. They will always be a burst of dopamine :>


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